Unstoppable, Immovable
by llAurorall
Summary: Love is unstoppable, all of us held immovable in its path... ES Slash Oneshot


_Author's Note: Love is unstoppable, all of us held immovable in its path…_

**Unstoppable, Immovable**

Emma couldn't remember the last night she had slept soundly. It could have been years ago, so long it seemed. Each morning when she woke from the barest of sleeps her whole body would protest, eyes red raw and skin sallow. But it was not the mornings she dreaded; it was the nights she had to endure beforehand.

It was loneliness that kept her awake, she knew. At first it had just been heartache, having lost Shalimar who had been her only comfort. But as the nights went by, one blurring into the other, Emma's need for her ex-lover built in strength and urgency until it became so difficult just to draw breath.

Now she felt as though she would break down from this need, like she would just fall apart if Shalimar didn't appear under her fingertips in an instant. Her lips felt parched and aching, her body cold and heart weeping endlessly. Nothing she did could sate this pain, this hunger. Nothing but Shalimar with her, inside and outside her, filling everything that Emma was and pushing everything else aside, could take the need away.

She was trembling upright in bed having woken from another vivid dream, sweating more and more as a pink flush raced up her chest. Her legs were draped over the side of her bed with the sheets behind her strewn about as though she'd had a nightmare. She'd tried in vain to sleep but it had eluded her, as it had for what felt like forever.

She almost wished it was a nightmare that had torn her from her bed. A nightmare could be dismissed so easily that it would be like she never even had one. But she didn't tremble from fear. She shook from barely suppressed desire; the need to be touched. The heady flush to her skin was because of the need to be loved again like before.

Eventually she'd sat up in an effort to control herself but it had only intensified her desire. Her fingers were gripping the bed so tightly her knuckles had gone white and were aching with the strain. But nothing, not even the deep breathing techniques she used, could keep her body from thrumming.

With her breath hissing out between her open lips, Emma closed her eyes against the heat pulsing through her limbs. "I will fight it…" She panted, still grasping tightly to the bed. "I won't let go…"

But something inside her had already let go, surrendering to the feeling of molten heat that made her pant and sweat. She didn't have to acknowledge it openly but she'd already betrayed herself by waking from her bed. It was now only a matter of time before the pressure built to bursting point and she'd throw herself from the room and go charging through Sanctuary.

"I shouldn't…" Emma begged the darkness, shivering as a hot drop of sweat languidly trailed over her collarbone and down between her breasts. "She's with someone else…" She added bitterly, the fire in her briefly turning to anger as Emma remembered she no longer held any sway over her team-mate's actions.

Emma wiped sweat soaked tendrils of brown hair from her face, her hands trembling and clammy. She was losing purchase on her senses rapidly and she knew that soon it wouldn't matter what she told herself of right and wrong. There was no denying what she was feeling, appropriate or not, and soon the beast would rear its head and she'd have no choice but to act or lose another part of herself.

The psionic swallowed thickly, her throat dry and raw from her ragged breaths. Tears were beginning to gather behind her eyes, adding to her trembling as she tried in vain to keep them in. "I can't help it." She sobbed into the darkness, but the inky blackness wasn't sympathetic to her cries. If anything, it only seemed to mock her with its silence.

Emma's leg twitched of its own accord in another muscle spasm, brushing one thigh against the other and causing a yelp of surprise to hiss past her lips. The sensation seemed to ricochet through her entire body and suddenly Emma felt beyond ashamed by her desperate state; she had no right to feel the way she did anymore.

She glanced around at her bed, hoping she could somehow just crawl into it and forget her hopeless state of arousal. But looking upon her twisted sheets, the damp patches of sweat where her body had been lain, Emma could see nothing but her own body buried beneath Shalimar's, twisting into those hands as they skated over her slick skin.

"I have to stop this!" Emma cried, her fists balling up so her fingernails pressed angrily into her palms. "She doesn't want me anymore and that's that!" But even that horrible truth could not douse this fire. She needed this, Shalimar, more than oxygen.

On shaky legs, clothes clinging to her skin and assaulting her senses, Emma rose to her feet and began to leave her room. Her muscles were so tight that it was difficult to walk. "Maybe if I just work it off…" She mumbled, trying to focus her resolve through the heady scent of her own sweat.

The door handle slipped under her clammy palm and Emma grunted as her balance gave way and she bumped into the door. She leant against it for a few moments, relying heavily on it to keep her upright on shaky legs. The wood was cool beneath her skin and it was a welcome balm against what felt like an actual burning sensation.

And then her mind gave her over to her darker needs, flashing the memory of herself pressed against these very panels, fingers lost in long blonde hair as she shamelessly called out. The memory sent a surge of heat through her body, right down to her core, another groan issuing from her mouth.

She practically fell through the open door after, stumbling into the semi-dark corridors of Sanctuary. Her tank top had ridden up and away from her shorts to expose her firm stomach, slick with sweat. The cool air hit that exposed region straight away and it was like ecstasy, making her realise just how hot her longing had made not only herself but the room she'd been trapped in.

Her bare feet slapped against the smooth floors of Sanctuary as Emma staggered along, holding onto the walls and railings as she moved toward the dojo. Hopefully she would be able to run a simulation and fight off this need. She would exhaust herself and have no choice but to fall where she stood and sleep everything away.

Climbing the steps to the dojo platform felt more like climbing a mountain and more than once Emma had crumbled on the stairs, body still strained and trembling. Her shirt had risen higher over stomach so that it was possible to see the bottom of her ribs, the shorts similarly slipping over her sweat soaked hips. When she was bent double the fabric of her shorts teased all along her thighs and hips, drawing out agonising pleasure with every move Emma made.

With a gasp, almost as if she were surfacing from under a lake, Emma fell forward to her knees on the dojo platform. She rolled onto her back almost straight away, throwing her arm over her face and hiding behind it. "Emma DeLauro." She stated, the computers whirring to life at the sound of her thick voice. "Begin."

The lights to the dojo holo-suite glared brightly for a single moment before they dulled and an image of a tall man appeared above her. He was dressed from head to toe in black, a baton strapped to his hip. Emma's body traitorously reacted to the presence, imaging her lover under those clothes, waiting to have them torn free.

But then he lunged forward and Emma reacted straight off, the adrenaline and hormones that were racing through blood allowing her body to counter beyond its normal capabilities. She grabbed his collar as he lunged down toward her, pushing her foot into his abdomen and flipping him right overhead. Her flew clear of the projectors and simply disappeared in a matrix of gold light, the fight over before it had even begun.

The exertion had cost her hardly anything but she still panted heavily. The feel of clothes beneath her hands had made her arms grip convulsively, not willing to let go of the offer of another human body to touch and claim. But this was not about the simple desire for sex and Emma had found it easy enough to release again and toss the simulated attacker aside.

This was not about sex. This was about the love she could still feel burning inside of her. This was about the hundreds of nights spent alone, waiting in vain for something that would never come. This was about never being allowed to lay her hands on that body again, feel it willingly surrender to her will. This was about being desperately in love and still haunted by the memories of what was and what might have been.

Her body was calling out the only way it knew how and whereas before she'd been able to block the sensations out, everything was now crashing over her in a tidal wave of feeling. She still loved Shalimar and she needed her now and always. She needed to be loved emotionally and physically. Her need for this woman was overwhelming.

Still on the flat of her back, Emma's hips jerked upward as hands suddenly grasped her shorts and roughly tugged on them. Her reply was a growl as the material raked across her hot skin, her thighs coiling so tight she thought she might snap. Then her leg kicked out, connecting solidly with the man that was looming over her and attempting to take the advantage.

She was on her feet before she even realised she'd flipped her body, grabbing for the guy that was staggering away from her clutching his nose. Simulated blood was dribbling from the gaps in his fingers and some of it smeared across her own lips as she impulsively leaned forward and savagely kissed him. She had the belated thought that this was perhaps the oddest fighting technique she'd ever used but the computer reacted stunned, enough for Emma to raise her elbow and strike his face again, watching him fall clear of the dojo.

The intensity of the kiss had bruised her lips and they throbbed with blood, pulsing in time to the rapid thumping in her chest. She'd imagined Shalimar then, craving nothing more than the feel of those lips against hers once more. The feeling had been shocking, rendering her helpless to the feel of skin against her own. But the initial relief she'd felt, right down to the damp between her legs, had been fleeting and empty. It hadn't been Shalimar; Shalimar's skin had never been so rough.

She was acting instinctually. Her body did not want to work this desire away; it wanted the feeling to expand continually till it encompassed everything she was, blistering her skin and making her body tremble uncontrollably till she exploded. After months of denying herself even her own body, Emma needed concrete release.

Her eyes were heavily dilated with her aching, the blue of her iris' so dark that it looked almost black. It made the lights of the dojo more intense and Emma didn't see her next opponent suddenly appear behind her, wrapping long solid arms around her breasts, clamping her body to his. The applied pressure made her legs give out momentarily as she lost herself in the sensation of arms on her sensitive skin.

But again she was reminded of how unlike Shalimar's touch it was. Shalimar had never used her strength to her advantage when they'd made love and though there was strength involved in their embraces, it was not careless like this.

Emma stamped her foot down on top of her attacker's, sidestepping and thrusting her elbow backwards. He bent double instantly, clutching his stomach and Emma brought both hands down upon his neck, watching with satisfaction as he slumped completely to the floor and vanished.

If it were at all possible her breathing had become more ragged. She caught a quick glimpse of herself in the holo-suite walls and involuntarily stepped back. The reflection looking back at her was almost wild; her hair was damp all over and clung in tufts to her neck and face, her skin was so pink as to be red and even though she stood still, her body trembled everywhere. Her white tank top was stained grey with sweat and her black shorts were barely holding on to her hips.

Not for the first time that night Emma felt ashamed. She looked feral, a complete slave to her own hormones. How was it, that even after so long apart, these feelings could still be summoned in this intensity? How could she need someone so impossibly?

Emma raised her shaking hands and turned them over in front of her. She couldn't believe how distraught her body was. "I can't live like this…" She whispered, her voice quavering as she accepted the enormity of her situation. Her legs almost gave way then as she heard the voice she'd been dying to hear.

"Live like what…?" Shalimar asked, suddenly appearing behind Emma and wrapping those muscled arms about the taller woman.

Without thought or question, Emma's traitorous body leant backward, sighing out loud as Shalimar's skin pressed against her own. She didn't question how the feral had just appeared. She didn't even care. All that mattered was that her body was burning again, tearing down her inhibitions as her addled morality tried to warn against her actions.

Shalimar's face was over Emma's shoulder, those soft lips so close to her ear that when she whispered again, Emma bit her lip in a whimper, able to feel the other woman's breath as though it were an actual touch. "You're hot…" Shalimar pointed out, almost indifferently, but there was unmistakable intent behind those words, echoed by a single finger following a sweat trail down Emma's heaving spine.

Emma gripped the body behind hers with both hands, wrapping her long fingers into Shalimar's clothes so that she could not back away now that they were pressed together. "God, I want you." She panted, all shame forgotten as her increasing desire started to thrum in time to her pulse.

"I could hear you…" Shalimar whispered again, this time her breath skated over Emma's neck and shoulder, making her shudder. The feral swallowed hard as Emma's hips canted over their own accord, pushing backward against her. "I could smell you…"

Those words, hushed over her skin sent a wave of pleasure right down to her core, exploding outward and channelling back into her body. Emma couldn't control it. She needed Shalimar more than she could bear. She was enduring so much sensitivity that it was bordering on painful.

Emma turned in the embrace, coming face to face with those brown eyes that suddenly flashed golden. And the words just tumbled from her mouth in a half-moan, unrehearsed and completely unexpected. "That's so fucking hot."

Shalimar saw red at those words. Before she could even think what she was doing she'd grabbed the back of Emma's head and forced their lips together in a hard kiss. They were so tightly against each other that Shalimar could feel the bruises developing instantly, her lips swelling and becoming flushed. At this point she was becoming just as carried away as Emma, unable to stop her hands from grasping and taking.

It was when her hands disappeared under Emma's damp shirt that she could feel the psionic's own hands pressed against her chest, pushing back. Their kiss broke and the cold air hit her lips harshly. Emma looked up at her with those blue/black eyes, barely able to restrain her body that was still visibly trembling.

"We can't do this." She stammered, her treacherous hands still blindly roving over Shalimar's body.

Shalimar's fingers grazed easily over Emma, the gathered sweat making the skin slick. Emma had expected the feral to agree with her, that she shouldn't be cheating on Brennan and that their own relationship was over; buried. She was completely taken aback to hear the complete opposite. "I've missed you…" Shalimar whispered throatily, lost in the vision before her. "I can't forget you."

"Shal." Emma begged, torn apart by the look of anguish and untold suffering in those brown eyes. "I can't take a one night stand or a casual fling behind Brennan's back. My body's breaking and I'm so…" Emma placed a hand over her own flushed face with embarrassment. "I'm about to die if you don't touch me."

The blonde complied instantly, pressing her hands against Emma's hips and feeling the psionic arch against them. She was about to lean in to claim that mouth again but Emma's hands stopped her once more. She was losing the last edge of her control. One more move, a simple look on Shalimar's part would tear down the last vestiges of her hard earned distance and she would be Shalimar's, body and soul, again, as though they had never separated. She couldn't let that happen yet.

"Do you love me?" Emma gasped out, fighting the thick feeling of heat that was beginning to overwhelm her. Shalimar was so close to her, against her body and it made her head swim.

Shalimar's answer was so quick that Emma realised the other woman hadn't even thought about it. "Always."

The next question on from that should have been 'Why?', but Emma found she no longer wanted to know why. No reason seemed good enough anymore; not even death should have been able to tear them apart. Then the brunette staggered a little, suddenly realising that perhaps, really, nothing ever had broken them apart… Because they were still here, still loving one another, still craving one another, even though they were no longer promised to one another.

Emma found herself suddenly not caring why they were apart, not caring that they shouldn't be doing this and that maybe this was simply a casual re-acquaintance between ex-lovers. Emma realised that she could have this to cling to, even if things would never be the same again.

She couldn't stop this, not even if she wanted to; it was beyond the both of them. But even though the feeling of losing control was becoming stronger and stronger, adding to the shaking of Emma's body, she had to make sure that Shalimar understood this wasn't something to be taken lightly.

"Shal…" She croaked, leaning forward suddenly to rest on the feral's shoulder, breathing deeply and taking in the familiar yet alien smell. "This isn't about being taken." And at those words, Emma thought she saw a slight smirk on Shalimar's lips. It took everything Emma had in her to not kiss that look right off the other woman's face.

"If it was just about being touched, I could get that from anyone…" Emma swallowed, the tortured confession costing her more than she thought it would have. "This… This is for _you_." And then she took Shalimar's hand and pressed it to her chest, just above her cleavage against her still hot skin. Emma placed her own hand over the top of Shalimar's, needing to keep that tiny bit of contact now that she had it.

Shalimar's eyes had widened and darkened in an instant. Beneath her fingers Emma's heart was thumping wildly, her chest heaving up and down. It wasn't until now that Shalimar realised just what these few moments of control were costing the other woman.

"I love you… And no one but you could ever make this go away. I can't even deny it to _myself_ that it isn't you I still crave, it isn't you who still makes my heart beat like this." Emma let out a sigh, as though she'd finally released a dark secret. "I can't pretend it isn't you I love."

"So don't do this without knowing what it means." Emma finished, glancing down at where Shalimar's hand was still resting on her, then moving her gaze to the feral's brown eyes.

It was a heart stopping second where nothing happened. Emma's blue eyes remained fixed on Shalimar's brown ones, and then the two women collided, coming together before they even realised what was happening.

Shalimar backed Emma up against the dojo walls, her hands moving lightning fast to Emma's hips, pinning the writhing beauty beneath her, making her submit to her lips as she hungrily kissed everywhere. Emma groaned almost with relief, the sound swallowed by Shalimar's mouth and then suddenly echoed as the psionic clutched at the body before her, tugging harshly so that they were pressed impossibly close.

Even as the Shalimar's fingers began working at the areas of skin concealed from view, hidden under psionic's clothing, all Emma could feel was the sensory overload at finally having attained the one thing her very being had yearned so long for. The touches felt good, the fingers, the lips and the teeth, but just the knowledge of Shalimar with her, so close, was more ecstasy to Emma's heart than any kind of sex could be.

Her legs were going weak and she knew that she'd stopped trying to reciprocate Shalimar's touches. Instead Emma leant back, her fingers lost in long blonde hair as her head fell back and she let herself just give over.

Nothing in the world could ever compare to the way she felt right at this moment. After endless nights of waiting and needing, slowly withering away without the love she had become so dependent on, she was finally starting to feel human again. For the first time since Shalimar had left, Emma felt as though she was loved and wanted again.

Everything seemed like an impossible dream. Even as Shalimar's hands deftly removed her shirt and began working at bare skin, Emma couldn't imagine being in a better place. She realised that even though she had been strung out to the point of snapping, if Shalimar had offered just to hold her, she'd have been overcome with happiness. It would have released all that need from her, just as much as this was.

When she found the strength again to return Shalimar's touches, her kisses, Emma cupped the other woman's face in her hands and looked again into those brown eyes. "Love me…?" She pleaded, unsure whether an emotion like that still existed between them. Once it had been all there was between them, and then something had gone horribly wrong, replacing their love with an irrational anger. It had driven Emma to despair and Shalimar into Brennan's arms.

There was no look of love in those brown eyes and on the brink of giving up on what they had been, Emma looked away. It was then she saw it, caught that glimmer; the look of someone about to break at the thought of losing again.

"You're afraid…" Emma whispered, suddenly coming to the realisation and impulsively leaning forward to kiss Shalimar's lips. "You're afraid that love is dead." Emma smiled wide, blue eyes brimming with small tears. "Oh baby… You're wrong." She kissed Shalimar again. "So wrong…"

Shalimar looked away, her hands falling away from Emma's body in an attempt at disinterest. She wanted it to look as though she was only doing this for sex; a quick and cheap thrill. But she couldn't hide her own tremors that were building, accompanied by tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She was afraid; afraid that there would be no happy ending, not after how her one true attempt at love had blown up in her face. It had hurt so much it was easier to act like it just didn't matter.

"I can show you…" Emma promised, turning the tables and making the moment about Shalimar and not her own need to be restored.

As Emma's hands returned to Shalimar's body, she tried to bolt. But Emma held her fast, gentle but firm, continuing to trace her fingertips over well defined muscles and impossibly smooth skin, even as her lover tried to shy away from her. Shalimar had never been easy with being out of control, even when they had been together as a couple, so her attempts to get away were not unexpected.

"Shhh…" Emma crooned softly, kissing a small trail down Shalimar's neck as her their bodies continued to press against one another. Her gentle words seemed to soothe the other woman somewhat.

After that everything seemed to blur together in an expanse of swirled thoughts and emotions, mixed together like paint on a life-sized canvas. Emma gently lowered the two of them to the Dojo floor, laying the length of herself over the woman beneath her and slowly removing the remaining barriers that had lain between them for too long; both physical and emotional.

The old cotton shirt that Shalimar had been wearing tore open with an inaudible rasp, exposing the plain of her stomach as Emma lowered her lips. Shalimar seemed to suck in all the air around them, vainly trying to draw her skin away from Emma's lips, as though it would be a torture to endure them. But as their skin made contact again all the air whooshed from her lungs, eyes closing in ecstasy as she remembered all these touches which were now so alien to her.

Emma had always been a gentle lover, her movements and touches so different to Brennan's in every way. Just the way she laid her hands down for support before dipping her head and tracing her lips over a heaving collarbone or a slope beneath a hip, was unique only to her.

The exchange of touches and kisses continued for hours. Emma worshipped her skin like she was a priceless treasure. She would lay her lips on any exposed skin they chose and lavish attention there till it became unbearable. Then she would move her attentions elsewhere, continuing in this way until Shalimar's muscles were drawn so taught she thought she might snap.

Shalimar could hear a voice pleading and then vaguely realised it was her own, crying out over and over, begging softly for release. Her head was thrown to the side with her blonde hair splayed out beneath them in sweat-soaked strands and her body buckled and bent in time with Emma's caresses. She became only this; the need to be with Emma.

She tried to keep her eyes open the entire time but as Emma's touch became more purposeful, Shalimar found there was nothing she could do to keep her eyes from closing. Her lip was caught between her teeth and she bit down till it bled, Emma's fingers lost in the one place on her body that felt like molten fire. She cried out for real in the end, unable to keep the sound in even though she still had her lip firmly held between her teeth.

Shalimar felt as though she had fallen off the side of the world. She could still feel Emma's slick skin pressed against her own, a white hot fire radiating outward from her hips to her toes, then recoiling with ten times the force to make her arch her back once more and press as close as possible into Emma's waiting arms. But in the midst of all the pleasure which had been long forgotten, Emma's presence was constant and strong. Shalimar hadn't realised till then just how much she'd missed that.

When her eyes finally opened the first thing she saw was Emma stretched out over her, eyes a deep navy blue and unbelievably soft. Her breathing was slightly ragged and there was a radiance in her flushed skin, which to Shalimar made her look like the most beautiful woman in the world. She remembered with absolute clarity why she had loved this woman in the first place, simultaneously forgetting why the hell she had become so angry with her.

She wanted to say something to Emma, anything, but nothing would come; everything seemed so cheap and meaningless. The words "I love you" were on both their lips but it never came from either woman. Instead it was written in their faces, in the way they still reached out to touch one another, and the way they both fell into a comfortable sleep, curled about each other; peaceful.

But it couldn't last… In the end they had to get dressed and move away from one another again. In the end, they still had to say goodbye.

"This doesn't change us." Shalimar said quietly, a little guiltily; she almost wished it could erase the hurt that had come before. She wished that coming together like this could turn back time and make everything okay. But it didn't. It would take a long time before she could hand her heart back to Emma and truly believe it wouldn't get broken. Right now her heart was her own, not even Brennan could lay claim to it, and that's the way it would stay, forever if need be.

They'd stopped outside the psionic's bedroom, standing in silence and thick blackness of Sanctuary. Emma smiled softly, already prepared for those very words. "I know nothing has changed… But it was…" Emma laughed, a small noise that was nearly choked by her own tears as she tried to finish the sentence. "It was a relief."

"I'm yours." Emma continued. "Heart, body and soul. For all eternity…"

Before Shalimar could answer and completely cting on impulse, Emma leaned forward and stole a final kiss from Shalimar, hastily retreating into her room. She leant back against the wood panels of her door, tears falling freely from her eyes in both grief and happiness. From now on, or at least for a very long time, she would sleep soundly, with this night to keep her calm; content in the knowledge that she was still hopelessly in love and that it was okay.

_Aurora_


End file.
